Monday, March 8, 2010

To Gavin

Dear Gavin,

I know the day is going to be difficult when I wake up to screaming coming from down the hall. It is impossible for me to understand how two brothers who can get along so well can fight so hard. The most minor offenses can cause you to go ballistic and it is usually very difficult to get you off of that path for the day. At least for me it is. As the days pass, I am realizing more and more how alike we are. We both like to control and that means one of us will lose and neither of us will go down without a fight. Somehow you aren't so bad with daddy. Maybe that's because he's used to losing the battles with me :) I am also slowly learning that positive reinforcement is the key to your success. I wish I would've keyed into that better when we had our potty training war. I've learned that Gavin is going to do things on Gavin's timeline and nobody can change that. Months ago I had it in my mind that you were going to learn to write your name, and I painstakingly repeated the G with you over and over until I asked you to do it yourself. All I got were circles and lines and a coy little grin on your face. I grew frustrated quickly and gave up. I left the room and returned a minute later to find 4 perfect G's on your paper. Your timeline, not mine. Today you wrote your name for the first time without help. Again, it was after I had retreated defeated and you did it on your own. I am going to have to learn how to compromise my will with yours so you can succeed without my hair all turning grey. The look on your face when you saw how proud I was! You laughed and grinned from ear to ear with confidence. You are my little stubborn mule and I'm learning, ever so slowly how to let you take the lead and give you the freedom to go in a direction I did not chose. I just know that this strong will of yours will be a huge benefit to you when you grow up, I just need to keep reminding myself of that when I'm trying to get you to conform to my way. Mule or not, you are part of our pack.


Monica said...

Our middle boys are way too similar. When my husband gave H his blessing as a baby he felt strongly that this child would teach us many things. Since then I have somewhat realized that maybe H is my test. If I can humble myself more and learn to work with him through his struggles, I will actually come away being the one that was taught. Believe me when I say I have to remind myself of this hourly sometimes but he does surprise me when he makes huge leaps in the right direction. Good luck...and know I hear for you whenever you need to vent!

Corri said...

Funny... I was just thinking today how much Laura is driving me crazy lately. Do you think it is a middle child thing?

Gina said...

Sounds like Jackson-- I guess I have a lot to learn from him too!
Thanks for the honest post. Good to know I'm not alone!