Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Missing Deborah

Last week a very old friend of mine passed away from ovarian cancer. She was 57 and possibly the most dynamic, energetic, colorful person I ever knew. I met her in high school when I started going to the Mormon church, then she was called to teach my seminary class (a before school meeting at church where we studied the scriptures), and then she became a role model and dear, dear friend. I remember the long late night talks we had during my high school and early college years. She was full of wisdom and seemed to have an infinite amount of time to devote to me. Despite the age difference between us I never felt like Deborah was much older than me, we hung out at the mall and sang karaoke at the top of our lungs. She had a son that was on a mission when I met her and she would talk about how when he came home we would fall madly in love and then I could really be family. In fact, Jay and I did become amazing friends and even dated a bit, but it was not to be. That is where our lives took a turn and we lost touch. I got married and started a family and she moved around from city to city trying to promote her singing career. The last phone call I got from her was 10 years ago, the morning of my wedding day with her well-wishes. We went from being so close to not keeping in touch at all. How could such a thing happen? At one point in my life she meant so very much to me and now that she is gone I regret every day that I didn't call her or look her up. Even when Jay called in February and told me that she had cancer and that things didn't look good I wrote a letter to her, but never sent it because I wanted to get a picture of our family developed to send along with it and kept forgetting. Did she know what a difference she made in my life? On Sunday I found out the news that she was gone and spent most of the morning in tears, mourning, wondering why I never took the time to send her my letter. I have been beating myself up over it ever since. Well Deborah, this post is for you, far too late but it is written from my heart. Thank you for investing your time and your heart into a young girl that needed direction and a good friend. You will be missed.

7 comments:

Tami said...

What a sweet letter. I am sure that she read it in heaven and knows of your love and appreciation.

Gina said...

I think she knew how much you cared. Cancer seems to take only the best. So sad. Living your life the best you can is the best way to show your gratitude for her friendship. I'm sending lots of love your way on a sad day.

Mandi said...

I had no idea- I am so sorry. She was just as lucky to have you, you know! She sounds amazing.

Kristen said...

Erika that is so sweet and so sad. I am so sorry that you weren't able to get the letter to her, but I'm sure she knows that you were/are thinking about you. Best wishes and happy thoughts!

Crystal, Russell and Our Boys said...

Erika, I am so sorry! I'm sure she knew how important she was to you, and even if she didn't she does now. I ams sure she is so proud of you and your cute family!

Monica said...

I'm sure she knew how much you loved her and appreciated her example because you followed her lead and became an amazing woman yourself!!

Angie said...

Oh Erika-- I'm so sorry about your friend. I remember you talking about her fondly so many times. I'm sure she felt how much you cared about her. You do a good job of showing people around you in life how much you care for them.