I didn't realize until today how differently you're treated because you are the third child. What a treat it was for me to go to Starbucks today with daddy and you, just you. Instead of carrying you into the store because I had other little hands to hold and kids to keep track of I let you walk, tightly grasping my finger, confidently strutting yourself through the door and to a table. Instead of strapping you into a high chair because it would be less distracting than having you climbing everywhere, I sat you in a regular chair, next to the window where you could get your little greasy fingers all over pointing at buses, trucks, and trains. You seemed to be loving every minute of the undivided attention daddy and I were able to give you, and you hammed it up with us and all of the onlookers around us. I can imagine that they were thinking what a cute little family we were, doting on our first child like he was the most important thing in the world. I wish it could be like that more often, I hate having to schlep you to Cameron and Gavin's activities, strapped into a stroller and expecting you to be quiet and perfect, which, by the way, you usually are. I hate dividing my attention with you and your brothers, hoping to make everyone feel equal and like they have all had their turn with mom. I hate that I rarely get down and play with just you, puzzles and blocks and board books. It seems like you have been pushed to watch older kid movies, read older kid books and play with older-kid toys because that's what your brothers are doing. An old friend shared a sentiment that I share completely- I wish I could raise each of my kids separately and individually, one at a time. I want you to know that I'm going to try harder to do baby things just with my baby and make the time to have you all to myself.
Mom
6 comments:
That is so sweet. I feel that way many days with my little Audrey. Always running to the kids schools, or leaving her with someone else so I can volunteer or do something else I need to do. I miss those days when I just had Austin and he was my world.
So sweet. I totally agree.
Hmmm. Something I have been fearing with my second baby on the way! Thanks for the heads up! I love your posts by the way- they teach me something every time.
I could so relate to this post. You are a great mom. And there is something to be said for sibling love too...Merritt gets a lot of that, despite being dragged to all the girls activities.
I was in a ward with Jenny Oaks Baker and she was soon having baby #3. She talked to her Dad Elder Oaks and told him some of these exact concerns. He turned to her and said "Jenny, it's not all about you". :) Meaning they need their siblings, dad, grandparents neighbors, teacher, all helping to raise the child. The total weight was never meant to be all on the mom. Thanks goodness huh?
Such a sweet letter to Mason! You have a gift with words.
I'm thinking (hoping!) that it will get easier and easier to combine activities as the kids get older.
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